Sowing the Seeds of Love
by Dommi-chan
Summary: It's time for the Fuhrer's birthday! Also, our favorite band of characters gets plagued by a poem...but who wrote it?
1. Chapter 1

Title: Sowing the Seeds of Love  
Series: Fullmetal Alchemist  
Rating: PG-13ish, for a lot of cursing and some innuendo later on.  
Summary: It's time for the Fuhrer's birthday! Also, our favorite band of characters get plagued by a love poem...but who wrote it?

I am retarded. So is one of my friends, because she ENCOURAGED ME. So blame her too. Don't even bother trying to figure out where this fits in continuity...apparently, I decided that Roy and Company moved back to Central before Hughes died. And that everyone knew Archer before he ever even like said a word. I am an idiot. Fullmetal Alchemist is property of Aniplex, Square Enix, Funimation, Hiromu Arakawa, Bones, and like 80 bajillion other people before I'd ever get my hands on it. Which...if this is any indication is probably for the better. cough

Also, take this seriously and I swear to God I'll have to kick your ass. I mean it. It's retarded. Poem is a song by Ryan Cabrera. Also, Hughes likes KC and the Sunshine Band. What? It works.

----

It was afternoon when the author put down a pen, pausing only to re-read the finished words. It had taken hours --- wait, scratch that. It had taken days of hard labor, blood, sweat, and tears to finish. It was perfect.

_I won't talk, I won't breathe...  
I won't move 'til you finally see that you belong with me.  
You might think I don't look...  
But deep inside of the corner of my mind I'm attached to you. _

I'm weak, it's true 'cause I'm afraid to know the answer.  
Do you want me too? 'Cause my heart keeps falling faster.

I've waited all my life to cross this line to the only thing that's true.  
So I will not hide, it's time to try anything to be with you.  
All my life I've waited, this is true.

You don't know what you do every time you walk into the room---  
I'm afraid to move.  
I'm weak, it's true...I'm just scared to know the ending.  
Do you see me too? Do you even know you met me?

I've waited all my life to cross this line to the only thing that's true.  
So I will not hide, it's time to try anything to be with you.  
All my life I've waited, this is true.

I know when I go I'll be on my way to you---  
The way that's true.

I've waited all my life to cross this line to the only thing that's true.  
So I will not hide, it's time to try anything to be with you.  
All my life I've waited...this is true.

Nodding once more with approval, it was left on the desk as the author left to go to lunch. Perfection indeed...all it needed was to be shared.

Too bad a gust of wind from an opened window totally ruined everything.

----

Winry Rockbell could barely contain her excitement. She bounced like a schoolgirl on the train as it neared the station in Central. She also couldn't help but look down at the letter in her hands for the hundredth time that day.

_"Dear Winry--- _

It's been way too long since you've been to see us here in Central, or Ed and Al for that matter. So here's your chance!

I'm sending you a pass to the celebrations for Fuhrer Bradley's birthday. Please do everything you can to come for it, and of course you're welcome to stay with us during your visit.

We're all looking forward to seeing you again! Take care!

--- Maes Hughes

PS --- I've enclosed some pictures of Elysia so you can see how big she's gotten! Isn't she precious?"

After she had dug through the mountain of photographs featuring the youngest member of the Hughes family (which had promptly answered the question of why such a small envelope had needed so much in postage) she found her passes. She also bought her train ticket, a new dress, and did a huge celebratory dance through her house.

Every year for the Fuhrer's birthday, there was a three-day festival in Central that would lead up to a huge formal banquet and ball on the actual day itself. Bradley apparently loved parties, and this was nothing short of legendary. Anyone who was anyone was in attendance.

And this year, she was going! She couldn't wait to see the look on Ed and Al's faces when she walked in, all dressed up and everything.

She was actually still dancing over it. In fact, she was so excited, she didn't notice the piece of paper floating in through her open window and covering up the letter from Hughes.

----

"I'm really not up for this."

Alphonse Elric looked down at his older brother with a confused expression. "Up for what?"

"This. This whole, 'hey you gotta report in with Colonel Jackass and oh by the way it's the Fuhrer's birthday...where are your dress blues small-fry, you know the custom ones we had made because you're so teeny and small' bullshit." The blond hair was brushed out of Ed's eyes in a very frustrated manner. "I hate dressing up. I might as well get court-martialed or something. It'd be a lot easier to deal with."

Oh that. At times like those, Al wondered what would happen if he were to transmute the cross on Ed's jacket to read "Drama Queen" in glitter. Frightened by the images that resulted, he went back to the matter at hand. "Don't you think you're over-reacting a bit, brother? The Colonel's been very nice to you the last few times you've been to see him. And the birthday celebration last year was actually a lot of fun."

"Fun if you like making polite conversation with people you don't know well. Fun if you like that whole pomp and circumstance while wearing a stuffy wool uniform crap." Edward blanched at the memory. He had been struggling with his collar all evening.

Last year, the promise of an extravagantly fantastic meal had suckered Ed into agreeing to go to the festivities for Bradley's birthday, even going so far as to drag Al along for the ride.

The fact that Mustang had somehow neglected to remind Ed that _technically_ he was a Major in the army and therefore he was _technically_ required to attend in full military dress was pretty messed up in Ed's book. The second he saw the uniform on his bed he nearly learned Flame Alchemy just to get revenge. He hated stuffiness and more to the point, he thought the shade of blue in the uniform made him look sickly. Never mind the fact that he knew the Colonel had been biting back laughter every time he looked in his direction.

The rat bastard.

Al swallowed his laughter as they entered the main hall of Central Headquarters. Ed in that uniform while having the facial expression of a cat caught in the rain...that was pretty funny. Maybe this year he'd have to wear the hat too... Unable to hide the snicker that time, Al quickly coughed when Ed turned on him.

"Um...you're going to be late if we don't go ahead with this, right?"

"Yeah, yeah." There was grumbling along the lines of "wish I were dead" and "stupid no-account Mustang."

Yup. Drama Queen in glitter. Maybe also some sequins. A familiar silhouette at the front desk quickly caught his attention. "Isn't that Winry?"

It certainly was. Or rather, it was her back as she was arguing with the clerk about something.

"I already _told_ you…I have a special pass for this! I'm not supposed to need someone to sign me in! You're supposed to let me straight in to see…"

"Winry?" Ed and Al walked over to her, Al with a smile and Ed confused. "What are you doing here?"

For some reason, she jumped. "Ed? Oh hey Ed! You're not supposed to see me until…" She suddenly blushed and coughed. "I mean, HI! Funny running into you here! Ehehehhehehehe…" Her laughter was a little manic and it caused the brothers to look at each other.

"Right. What are you doing here?" Ed suddenly got a concerned look on his face. "There's nothing wrong with my auto-mail is there?"

"Wrong with your auto-mail? What is _that_ supposed to mean?" The clerk cleared his throat, and Winry quickly remembered where they were. "No I'm here because of…um…it's…" She blushed even deeper this time, her hand on a piece of paper on the edge of the desk. The hell?

"Winry." Ed smiled too innocently for his (or anyone's) own good. He casually slid next to her, draping an arm around her shoulders. "Why are you in Central?"

"Excuse me?" The clerk looked up from his phone. "Miss Rockbell? You can be seen now."

Winry grinned triumphantly. "Thank you." Grabbing her suitcase, she turned to the brothers. "I gotta go…I'll explain everything later!" She then grabbed her suitcase and took off at a dead sprint down the hall. "See you!"

Al shook his head. Ed blinked down at the paper on the edge of the desk. "Winry! Wait! You forgot your…" He looked down at the words on the letter.

_I won't move 'til you finally see that you belong with me._

Wait…what?

He looked at it again.

And again.

Now, the Fullmetal Alchemist was often hailed as a hero of the common man, and some would say a legend in his own time. He was a prodigy and a genius when it came to all things involving alchemy.

He was also a complete dumbass when it came to girls.

So at this particular moment, imagine if you will a hamster running on a wheel. Imagine the wheel knocking a ball down a chute, and then imagine the ball striking a match. The match then lights a candle, which then burns a rope that sends a swing over that knocks down a cup and thusly traps a mouse underneath. These were the mechanics behind his analysis of the last five minutes of his life.

And suddenly, Edward Elric came to a realization. Winry's hesitation to tell them about the reason for her sudden arrival, her blushing, this letter…

Winry, the girl who he had made mud-pies with as a child. The girl who he had scared with ooey-gooey worms…the girl who he made a doll for using alchemy and was basically his sister without the blood was in love with him. And there was only one thing he could say to that.

"Oh, shit."

----

"So...who's it gonna be this time? Think it's another one from the secretary pool?"

_Thwak!_

"Nah. They're all old news, if you catch my drift."

_Thwak!_

"Well, what about the new girls in the medical units? There're some pretty nurses these days."

"Nah. Most of them are dating the doctors, or are already married."

"What are you two going on about?" Cain Fuery looked up from the report he had been going through at Havoc and Breda.

"Oh, just who the Colonel's gonna take to the party Saturday." Havoc took aim with his dart. So far he was kicking Breda's ass and loving it. Thwak! "He's been through so many girls recently, it's hard to say what he'll do next. Or who, rather." Breda snorted.

First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye rolled her eyes over her book. The men she worked with were all worse than a group of giggling teenage girls. "Don't you two have something more constructive to do? Such as the paperwork in front of you that doesn't involve gossiping about the love life of your C.O.?"

Breda shrugged and looked at Havoc. Havoc thought _really hard_ for a moment.

"Eh. No one's doing any work right now anyways, what with all of the party planning." Havoc scratched his head absently with the tip of a dart. "'Sides, like you're not curious about it either." He took aim once more.

Before she could reply, a knock sounded at the office door. It was then quickly opened by Edward and Alphonse Elric.

_CLANG!_

The latter promptly getting a dart stuck in the softer part of his armor where his shoulder would have been.

And also where Ed would have been had he had a growth spurt since he turned ten.

Al blinked. "Um..."

"Um,' indeed." Hawkeye looked almost smug as she took a sip of her tea. The other blond lieutenant looked somewhat embarrassed.

Well, as embarrassed as Havoc ever got anyways.

"Oops. Sorry Boss. Sorry Al." He gently pulled the dart out, patting the metal fondly.

"It's okay, Lieutenant. You couldn't have known we were about to come through the door." Edward stood with a piece of paper looking distracted, clearly not having even noticed the dart. "Right brother?"

"Yeah peanut butter sounds good," he mumbled. For some reason there was a slight blush on his face. Hawkeye looked at Al, who did the international hand motion for "Don't look at me."

"Edward? The Colonel is expecting…" Falman randomly throwing his inbox across the room in a panic cut off her words.

They all stared at the Warrant Officer as he continued his miniature breakdown. At least, he continued until he realized that everyone was gawking at him.

He coughed. "Excuse me," he muttered as he bowed and then ran flailing out the door.

Havoc's jaw dropped so far that his cigarette fell to the ground.

"Looks like someone took his crazy pills this morning." Breda shrugged as he realized the young alchemist was rather preoccupied. "Hey Fullmetal? Whatcha got there?"

Ed suddenly started, shoving the letter into a large folder. "Uh nothing. Nothing. Certainly nothing interesting like a love letter or some such. Ha! Hahahahaha!" He put his hand behind his head as he laughed. Again, Hawkeye looked at Al who this time did the sign for "I got nothin'."

Breda blinked. Speaking of crazy… Hawkeye remembered herself and cleared her throat.

"As I was saying, Colonel Mustang's expecting you." She smiled. "How was your expedition back to Xenotime?"

Ed stopped laughing. "Eh, nothing exciting. The town's still cleaning up from before." He shrugged. "I guess it's back to square one like always."

Riza nodded. "Well, I'm sure the Colonel will hear all about it."

The young alchemist got an almost feral grin on his face. "Oh he sure will. He can read all about it too…I'm finally a step ahead for once! I've already written detailed reports in triplicate!" There practically was an audible fanfare as he dropped the over-flowing folder onto Fuery's desk, scaring the poor man out of his concentration.

Riza raised an eyebrow. "How forward-thinking of you, Edward. I'll let the Colonel know that you're ready to speak with him."

----

The key to being a good soldier was always being two steps ahead of your enemy. This was something that Roy Mustang preached and lived…he even believed it to be the secret to his becoming Fuhrer one day.

However, when your enemy was the Central Times Sunday Crossword Puzzle, and it was now Thursday…that was little different.

"What is on earth is a five letter word for female dog," he muttered as he chewed on the end of his pen in annoyance. "I just don't know…it intersects with the first letter in fifteen across, and that answer is 'calliope.' So what on Earth…" A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. "Come in." He quickly put some paperwork on top of the crossword.

Lt. Hawkeye opened his door. "Edward Elric is here, sir. He's returned from Xenotime to go over the results of his investigations."

Oh. Right. "Send him in." He set the paperwork aside, grudgingly eyeing the puzzle. He wasn't going to get anything done until it was finished...he just knew it.

"Here I am Colonel. I'm all yours." Ed sat casually on the leather sofa, the overflowing folder in his arms.

"Indeed," Roy raised his eyebrow again. "So…what did you find?"

Edward shrugged. "Clean up's still going on, people aren't getting sick anymore. Pretty normal, and no leads on the Philosopher's stone. Not a whole lot going on there, I'm afraid."

Roy nodded, his eyes straying to his crossword puzzle. Better to usher the kid out quickly so he could get back to it…the answer was so close he could taste it. "Hm. Well, that's fine then."

Gold eyes blinked once, twice at him. "Uh…sir? Don't you want my reports?" His right hand pointed down to the large folder.

"That's not really necessary. You said you found nothing and I believe you. Why waste the paperwork? Don't worry about it." What on Earth could that word be?

Instead of looking thrilled like he expected, Edward instead looked…annoyed? What? Why wouldn't he leave? "Colonel, I insist you take the report."

_…Okay…_ "Edward, I just explained that it's a waste of everyone's..."

"YOU"RE TAKING MY REPORT!" Edward screamed as he slammed the papers down on Mustang's desk, the folder flying open from the force of the blow. His skin was red and blotchy, his eyes wild.

"Uh…" Staring at the new cracks in his desk, Roy put an indulgent smile on his face. "Of course I will, Edward." He very gently slid the folder across his desk. "Is there…anything else?"

Suddenly remembering himself, Edward turned red for a completely different reason…embarrassment. "Um…no sir. Nothing." He started to tiptoe out the door. "I'lljustbegoingthanksbye."

Roy cleared his throat. "Edward." The teenager froze, pausing before he reluctantly turned around.

"Sir?"

"Don't forget about the ball on Saturday. You'll need to have your uniform pressed and boots polished this time."

Sagging in defeat, Edward sighed. "Yes sir." He opened the door and before it shut behind him a tinny voice asking "Brother? Why were you shouting at the Colonel?" was heard.

Thank God. Now he could get back to what was important. He proceeded to move the folder a little to the left and couldn't help but skim the first page.

He then stopped what he was doing and went back to read it more thoroughly. _Hm._ Well that explained why Fullmetal was so insistent about him taking the reports. Roy read it one final time just to be sure.

That was about when he started to laugh.

----

There were several things in the world that Lieutenant-Colonel Frank Archer hated.

He hated people who slacked off and somehow got promoted without working for it. He hated people who instead of making the system work for them cheated it entirely. He hated the fact that he had yet to be able to secure his place in the history books and that he was only a Lieutenant Colonel. He hated smooth jazz.

"Girl, to be with youuu is my favorite thiiing! I just can't wait until I seee you againnnn!"

Oh yes, and he hated Lieutenant-Colonel Maes Hughes.

Not to say he didn't respect the man…he had a sharp intellect and talent with his knives to match. He was excellent at doing his job, only matched by Archer himself. He had nothing but appreciation for his skills on and off the battlefield.

"I'm gonna put onnnnnnn, my my my my my boogie shoes, and boogie with you da da! Da da da, da da!"

He just…he _hated_ that guy.

"I wanna put on my my my my my boogie shoes, just to boogie with…oh, hey Frankie. How's it going?" Hughes finally stopped the infernal dance number from next to his files. Well, if he stopped singing he might actually make it through this encounter without having to look through a photo album.

For once.

Archer sighed. "It's "Frank," Hughes. 'Archer' preferably."

"Sure, Frankie." Archer twitched involuntarily. "Anyways, what brings you here? Another court-martial?"

"No, I'm actually here because the General has some questions regarding the last report filed regarding Edward Elric's activities with the Crystal Alchemist." _Not to mention, I want to know what he's up to._

Hughes blinked. "Oh. I don't have those anymore. You'd have to get them from Colonel Mustang." He then brightened considerably. "Say while you're here, I need to show you the latest pictures of my darling Elysia! She got her Halloween costume last week and…"

No. Oh dear Lord…_no_. Archer began to back away slowly when Hughes's aide, She-ra or whatever it was, opened the door.

"Lieutenant-Colonel Hughes? Your guest has arrived." A pretty blonde girl closely followed the aide, carrying a suitcase in her right hand. The girl was blushing a little as she grinned at Hughes.

Archer raised both eyebrows. The girl couldn't have possibly been older than fifteen…she certainly wasn't his wife and she was too old to be another child of Hughes's.

"Winry! I was wondering when you'd get here!" He gave the girl a huge hug that almost suffocated her. "It's been far too long! How was the train ride? You had no problems getting here, I hope?"

Too long? Problems? Archer was, understandably, confused. What in the hell?

She grinned. "Not really. But I think my cover's blown…I ran into you-know-who on my way up here. I just kinda blew off explaining what I was doing until later, though."

"Oh good." Hughes grinned back. "I'd hate for all of our sneaking around to be ruined this soon." He then whispered something into her ear. She returned the favor when he was done. He laughed, stopping abruptly when he remembered that Archer was still in the room. "You'll have to excuse me, Frankie. I need to go over some things with my guest."

Still confused, he showed himself to the door. "That's fine, Hughes. I'll just…come back by some other time. I'll go speak to Mustang." He wasn't even acknowledged as he walked out, Hughes too busy talking to Winnie or...whatever.

Sneaking around, hmmm? Returning his expression to normal, he started to go over everything. A young girl escorted into his office secretly, being seen by someone she shouldn't have…it could only mean one thing.

_So the army's resident family man is having an affair with a much younger girl. That's certainly interesting._ The expression turned into an icy smirk. _Very interesting._

So far caught up in his plans, it took Archer twenty minutes to realize he was lost.


	2. Chapter 2

Fic: Sowing the Seeds of Love (2?)  
Series: Fullmetal Alchemist  
Rating: PG13ish, for swearing and innuendos  
Summary: It's time for the Fuhrer's birthday! Also our favorite band of characters gets plagued by a love poem. But who wrote it?

You will be completely, totally, and irrevocably lost unless you read part one first. Poem still not mine, characters not mine, et cetera. I'm also still retarded. (Sidenote...why isn't Archer a selectable character? I mean I realize that I'm probably the only person who likes him but still...where's the love, FFNET?)

Let's recap, shall we?  
-Poem is written and is lost  
-Winry ends up with poem without realizing and leaves it behind at desk  
-Ed finds poem, assumes Winry wrote it for him  
-Ed files report with Mustang, leaving poem inside. Roy cracks up because he thinks Ed is in love with him  
-Archer goes to harass Hughes, sees Winry, assumes Hughes is having affair with underage girl (LOL Mark Foley)  
----

At a far table in the Mess Hall, Edward pushed his food around his plate. What was he going to do? Somehow Winry decided she was in love with him, but they had been practically raised as siblings.

"Brother?"

Yeah, okay, Winry was pretty and all, and she was a good listener. But still…she was practically his sister! He just couldn't bring himself to feel that way about her. Yeah he loved her but in a platonic friend way, not a let's go play seven minutes in heaven way.

"Brother?"

She was a genius with auto-mail…but…sister. He'd have to let her down gently, calmly explain that he didn't think about her that way. She would take it okay as long as he was rational and nice about it.

"Ed?"

He was so screwed.

_Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist and Man of the People,_ his obituary would read, _died on a beautiful Thursday from head trauma inflicted by being beaten with his own auto-mail limbs. His younger brother, Alphonse, as well as those in service to the State feel his loss. A memorial service is to be held in the national cemetery followed by bingo and a chili cook-off._

_'Edward loved chili,'_ they'd say while sobbing. _'He loved it so much…'_

"Edward Rafael Elric!" Al was annoyed. Whoops.

"Eh? Huh?" He looked up from his plate. "What?" He went from confused to pissed off. "And I told you…_never use the middle name in public._"

"You've been pushing your food around instead of eating it for ten minutes now…it's probably cold. And you've been distracted ever since we ran into Winry." At the mention of her name, Ed blushed again. "What's going on?"

"Al…" He sighed. Maybe Al could help him figure out what to do. Hell, maybe Al could even tell Winry for him. Oh wow, that was a great idea! "What would you do if you found out that someone…felt some way about you?"

Well that was vague. He didn't understand the question. "I don't understand the question."

"I mean…" His face screwed up in thought, Ed went on after a moment. "Say for the sake of argument…that someone you've known your whole life…one day feelings just…changed. And they…they told you. What would you do?"

Okay so Ed was in love with someone he'd known for his whole life. And if he didn't know any better, he'd almost think that Ed was confessing his love to _him_. Which…wow that was a horrifying thought. Fortunately it was also completely insane. But who else could he…hold on. "Is this about Winry?"

Ed jerked, causing himself to fall backwards off his part of the bench. As he fell, his left leg caught the edge of his metal tray, sending it hurtling through the mess.

Only his pudding survived.

"OW!" A random corporal rubbed his nose from where it was hit by the tray.

Alphonse helped his brother off the floor. Yup, it was about Winry. Winry…Ed…_Ed was in love with Winry._

This was great!

They were going to get married with him as the best man. Al would live next door to them, of course, and he'd help them run Winry's auto-mail shop. This was the best news he'd heard in a really long time!

"Does that mean…does that mean you'll help me talk to her?" Ed looked immensely relieved. "I'm kinda worried I'll say the wrong thing…" Which was reasonable, as this was Edward after all.

"Of _course_!" Al beamed. "I'll be there with you, every step of the way!"

He neglected to mention that he was already naming their children.

----

Frank Archer arrived at the offices designated for Colonel Roy Mustang and his staff after somehow taking the scenic route past the infirmary, through the obstacle course, and underneath the laundry facilities. He also had decided along the way that whoever designed this HQ should be fired. He had gone so far as to add them to his list above "smooth jazz" but below "dirty cheaters."

Which, to his mind, included Mustang. But that should go without saying.

He knocked on the door, and without waiting for a reply pushed it open.

_Thwak!_

This time, the dart lodged itself in the wood next to Archer's head. He sighed.

"Oh, crap." Breda quickly hid the darts behind his back. "Crap! Uh…hey there sir, I didn't hear you knock."

"Obviously," Archer rolled his eyes. "Is the Colonel in?"

The female Lieutenant…Hawkeye, that's what her name was…nodded. "He's reviewing paperwork at the moment. I'll let him know that you're here."

Archer nodded as he put his hands in his pockets and looked around the office. One person's desk was in complete disarray, but other than that Mustang, he grudgingly had to admit, was keeping his office in good shape. He made notes of that fact for the future.

"Sir?" Hawkeye was addressing him again. "The Colonel will speak with you."

"Thank you, Lieutenant." Hawkeye, clearly, was an excellent aide…it was a shame that she was so loyal to Mustang. He'd have to do something about that. Archer closed the door behind him, nodding his head in greeting. "Colonel."

"…No that doesn't make any sense…what could…oh." Mustang was staring at his desk, tapping a pen very loudly. "My apologies, Archer. What brings you here?"

Archer smiled. "Oh, I was just sent here by Hughes for some reports by the Fullmetal Alchemist. The General is requesting them for…"

Roy pointed without looking at a large folder. "There. Everything you could ever need is in that folder." He looked up at Archer then with a strange expression on his face, almost as if he was concentrating very hard. "Was there…anything else?"

Picking up the folder at the edge of the desk, Archer could only shake his head. "No, I believe this will suffice for now. Thank you, sir."

Mustang nodded. He got a startled look on his face, as if he suddenly thought of something important to say. "Say Archer…you wouldn't happen to…"

Archer couldn't help but eye his superior warily. "Yes?"

"…Never mind." The Flame Alchemist shook his head at himself. "It's not important." He smiled at the Lieutenant Colonel, which set off one or two alarms in Archer's head. Wisely, he put one hand on the door in case Mustang had his gloves on. "Go ahead about your business, and let me know if the General needs anything else regarding Fullmetal."

"Sir." Archer saluted, nearly dropping the enormous file in his hand. He left the room quickly, leaving Roy behind to tap the pen again.

What was that? First Hughes with his underage lover and now Mustang was being far too cooperative and even somewhat friendly towards him. The last time Mustang had been nice to him was right before a horrible prank involving Hughes, a can of worms, his boxers, and about eight pounds of bacon fat back in the Academy.

He _really_ hated Hughes.

He barely remembered to smile at Mustang's crew before he left, closing the door behind him and leaning against it. It was only a little past lunchtime and he was already wishing he could go home. He warily opened the folder, half expecting it to explode when he did so. Instead he was greeted by a handwritten and somewhat bent up piece of paper.

_I've waited all my life to cross this line to the only thing that's true.  
So I will not hide, it's time to try anything to be with you.  
All my life I've waited, this is true._

"…" Archer stared blankly at the paper in his hands. Oh this was just too much. Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, was in love with him. Apparently had been suffering from it for quite some time as well if these words were accurate, and now the poor soul was resorting to admitting his feelings by planting a letter in a report by Fullmetal. Perfect! This fit into his plans quite nicely.

_Dear Diary,_ he said to himself as he headed back towards his office. _Today I got prime blackmail material on Maes Hughes and found out exactly how easy it will be for me to control the Flame Alchemist. It was the best day ever..._

----

Roy, meanwhile, was tearing up his desk. _Where on Earth did I put my crossword puzzle?_ He still hadn't figured out that word, but he just knew he would at any given moment. He had started to search through his desk drawers when it suddenly struck him.

_Archer! Archer has my puzzle!_

Shit. That meant he had to put up with him in order to get it back.

…Or did he…?

There were perks, after all, to having a staff at your disposal. He stuck his head out of his door, his eyes landing on exactly who it was he needed to speak with.

"Oh, Lieutenant Hawkeye…could you take care of something for me…?"

----

Maes Hughes was ecstatic. Everything was going well for him. Elysia was adorable as always, Winry had arrived safely, the surprise was still a surprise, and best of all Gracia was picking up her new dress from the tailors.

He loved partying…it was something he had never grown out of since the Academy. He even loved partying when he had to be in full dress blues…the Fuhrer's birthday was always an awesome excuse to get plastered in uniform.

And he took advantage of it every year, like any sane person would. He was also thrilled because he and the misses hadn't had much time to themselves lately, between his job and their daughter. Not that he didn't absolutely _adore_ his perfect, beautiful, wonderful bundle of joy in the form of an angel brought to Earth, but he loved having some quality alone time with his wife just as much.

Yes sir, he was looking forward to bringing sexy back at the ball Saturday night.

Taking a late lunch, he made his way to the mess hall, hoping that Ed and Al may still be there. And there they were sitting at a table in the back like always. Deftly stepping over a nurse and a soldier with a broken nose (_Wonder how that happened…_), he made his way to the boys.

"Of _course_!" Hughes heard Alphonse exclaim. "I'll be there with you, every step of the way!"

"Be there for what?" The boys looked at him startled.

"Lieutenant-Colonel!" He had the vague sense that the armor was grinning at him. One day he was going to look into how exactly it had picked up facial expressions…it couldn't be as simple as the kid's soul shining through.

"Hey Al. Ed." He sat down next to Ed with a curious look on his face. "What's up?"

"Nothing!" Ed shouted at the same time that Al replied with "We were just talking about Winry…"

A-ha. He _knew_ it. He had always known it; it was part of why he had been so set on getting her here for the festival. It was all of that stuff about her smile during Elysia's party. Edward was in love with Winry and he had finally realized it. Fabulous!

"I see," he said innocently as he stole Ed's pudding. Since Ed had finally figured it out on his own, he decided it was okay to blow the surprise. "Well, she's here all weekend for the festival you know. Including the ball." He ate a heaping spoonful of the pudding. Yuck, tapioca…it had looked like vanilla in the container.

"The ball? Really?" Al seemed to look at him conspiratorially. "Brother, that's your chance."

"Chance for what?" Instead of an elaborate mousetrap, this time Ed had a simple hamster on a wheel running in circles. "Oh wait…no…no I can't…not there…"

"Of COURSE you can!" Al and Hughes said at the same time.

Ed was pale. And clammy. "No that's…it's not right…there'll be too many people…" Randomly he calmed down. "Wait but then again there'll be too many witnesses for her to do anything drastic…"

Al froze and Hughes was really confused. He always sort-of figured Winry probably returned Ed's sentiments, so that didn't make sense. _He's probably just not into PDA or something._ He could wonder about it, or eat more pudding.

He ate more pudding with a shrug. "It's your call. But I don't think you'll have a better chance because she's going to be busy up until then, and she leaves the day after."

Ed put his head down on his arms and sighed. "You're right. And I'm doomed by the way."

"That's the spirit!" Hughes grinned as he finished off the pudding. Al flashed a thumbs-up.

----

Riza Hawkeye understood certain things about her job, and following Roy Mustang's orders was pretty much her entire job description.

That didn't mean there weren't certain times when she didn't absolutely hate it.

Track down Archer, fine. That was easy. Convincing him to give her back the reports…now, that was something else entirely. Everyone in the military knew that Archer wouldn't do anything that didn't work out in his favor. General Hakuro asked for him to retrieve them, there was no way he'd give them up.

She had to figure out something quickly, because she was at his office. Sighing, she knocked on the door.

"Enter," came the muffled voice of the man in question. Bravely soldiering forward, Hawkeye walked into the room.

"Sir, the Colonel sent me here to retrieve the file that he gave you with Fullmetal's reports."

The file that was, naturally, right in front of him. "You mean, this file?"

"Yes, sir. Colonel Mustang said that there was something important he needed to go over and that once he has taken care of that, you are more than welcome to have it back."

Oh, apparently he wasn't supposed to have seen that letter yet. That was interesting considering the aborted question Mustang had been about to ask him. Wait…the ball was in two days. Oh dear…it was all Archer could do to keep from laughing outright. He folded his hands in front of his face to hide his smile. This was getting easier and easier for him to manipulate things his way. "Really now." He leaned back in his chair. "Well if he needs it, then by all means take it back to him."

_What?_ Riza was confused. "Sir?"

"I said, let him have it back. It's clearly very important to him, for you to have come all this way. Take it to him with my compliments." He should have known this would happen but it was too little, too late. Mustang couldn't undo the past, after all.

Pleased with herself for having gotten it back so easily, she reached toward the file. His hand covering hers startled her, and her wide eyes met his.

"Oh and, _of course_, that I'll be by tomorrow to retrieve it." The smile on his face was calm and somewhat unnerving. It looked like he knew something she didn't and that bothered her. Letting go of her hand, he picked up a different folder on his desk. "If that will be all, Lieutenant, I'll just see you tomorrow then?"

"Yes, sir." Hawkeye saluted, and she grabbed the folder. Without hesitation she turned and walked out the door. She didn't even glance behind her. Heading quickly back towards her office, she accidentally stumbled on a piece of loose tile.

As she recovered her balance, a piece of paper drifted out of the folder. Considering she didn't know what exactly Mustang needed the file for, she stopped to pick it up. Looking a little worse for the wear, she tried to smooth out the wrinkles as best she could when the words caught her eye.

_You don't know what you do every time you walk into the room---  
I'm afraid to move._

Well, that was strange. That didn't sound like anything the Colonel could have written…he was a ladies man, true, but he ran the gamut more along the smooth and subtle track. He wasn't one for poetry.

True, it was mixed in with Fullmetal's reports, but really. Ed was still a kid after all. He was too young for such sentiments, and if they were aimed at anyone it would probably be his friend, Winry.

That only left…no…it couldn't be. Although, it explained just why he let her have the papers so easily. And just what was that caress of her hand about anyways? And he had seemed somewhat…eager when he mentioned coming by the office the following day. The more she thought about things, the more she was adding two and two and getting four.

Lieutenant-Colonel Archer had just, more or less, declared his undying love for her.

She needed a shower.

And her gun.

----

Maria Ross and Denny Brosh walked side by side down the hallway towards the offices of the Military Court. Having just completed going through range training together, the two were heading back to work.

"I can't believe it's the Fuhrer's birthday again." Ross sighed. "It seems like it was just a couple of months ago."

"I know," Denny agreed. His cheeks reddening, he realized that this was probably his best chance. "So um…there's that ball on Saturday right?"

"Of course. There's a ball every year." She glanced sidelong at him. "What about it?"

"Well I…that is to say…I mean…_youwangoballwime_?" He cringed. And also, contemplated shooting himself.

"…Come again?" She turned so that she was facing him while walking backwards.

"I er…" He then noticed a very distracted looking Lieutenant Hawkeye heading towards them. "Incoming!"

"What?" Too late.

_WHAM!_

Hawkeye and Ross ended up in a huge heap on the floor, the paperwork that Hawkeye was carrying scattering everywhere around them. Ross was laying on her back underneath the blonde and it made Denny cringe. They'd need jumbo band-aids for those wounds.

"Oh God, Lieutenant I am _so_ sorry." Ross looked up at the blonde from where she lay. "I wasn't watching where I was going…it's my fault…here…" She began to frantically shove papers into the folder that Hawkeye had been carrying.

Hawkeye smiled. "Don't worry about it. I wasn't paying attention myself. Here I have those." The two women put everything back in the folder. "Sorry about this…I need to get back to the Colonel. See you soon," she waved at Ross as she walked away.

"Wow…" Denny shrugged. "You always hear about what a hardass she is, but she was really nice about that."

Ross nodded, something white on the ground catching her eye. "Wait, Lieutenant! You forgot your…" She glanced at the paper. "…Love letter?"

"Whoa, is it really?" He looked over her shoulder. "Wow it is. I wonder who it's for…she doesn't seem like the type. I mean…like I said, hardass." He thought for a moment. "Although there are those rumors…"

"Rumors?" Her eyes met his. "What rumors?"

"You know…how First Lieutenant Hawkeye is of the er…'don't ask, don't tell' variety. I mean, she's really pretty but she never dates any guys or anything. And it's not for lack of admirers." He shrugged. "A lot of people seem to think that she's…you know." He leaned in and whispered. "Kinda gay."

Oh. _Oh._ Looking down at the paper in her hands again, a sudden feeling of dread came over Ross. Riza was far too competent to just forget a piece of paper like that. Unless she had done it on purpose…

_Oh no…no she can't possibly think…I mean I'm not…_

Damn short hair.


End file.
